Well, another Friday down.
I think that really the only things that help me keep track of the days are the French lesson, my poem due dates and now the deadlines for work to be put on for students.
I still have yet to really put together a schedule and I also struggle to go to sleep at night sometimes… But, I imagine that my situation isn’t so different from everyone else’s.
I just keep telling myself that I can’t waste the time. Maybe eventually I’ll listen to myself and push harder. We’ll see.
Heck. For the moment, all we have is time.
Apologies for the long hiatus. Seems, like I forgot the first rule of this thing- keep showing up.
Well, I’m here again.
Today I decided to write quarantine poems. To be clear, these are different to other poems I’ve been writing. They’re meant to be at least. I know that millions of poets all over the world will do this and I know that quite a few will be better than the ones that I’m writing, But, I don’t really care. Not too much anyway.
What’s important to me right now is making sure that I capitalise on all of the time and energy that seems to be present here at the moment. I’ll leave the criticism to everyone else.
I hope that you’re doing well, and I’m glad to say that I’m one stone closer to finishing this cathedral.
‘This’ll be easy.’ They said.
Visions of Netflix and gaming
‘All these projects’ll get done now.’
Initially, they did.
Then screens became prison glass.
Apartment air turned stale, sour.
Sheltering at home became a chore.
First day in quarantine- so far so good. I managed to get two first drafts done, read poetry, nap, pay with my daughter and catch a conference call with some friends of mine.
We start lockdown tomorrow, so we’ll see how things go.
I wish there was more for me to say, but at the moment there’s still so much to process.
Apologies for not writing. No excuses. But, I’m back now. I wrote a couple of drafts.
Wilkinson’s beige shelves bone empty
Picked carrion clean
Gauze-like calm, opaque and shimmering
covers everything. This cloud refuses to lift.
Looking out on my last class, I am afraid.
My students have helped me to forget this
But now, I am as afraid for them as I am of what will happen next
I cannot let them know this, so I smile – wish them well.
As the last of them leave, I feel myself slip into darkness
Feel the chill of cryofluid,filling my tank.
We are all together drifting on this sullen sea
Unsure of what strange new worlds await on the other side.
I’m currently watching Black Panther. About to mark and prep for tomorrow. Big things are coming.
Okay, so I messed up.
I officially missed a day of writing here. Let me be clear- it wasn’t intentional, it wasn’t good for my momentum or practice and it wasn’t a good way to build the cathedral.
So, today I’m back on the horse.
I will say that I wrote in my notebook, and I will say that I missed it, but I didn’t allow myself to feel too down. I mean I am human after all.
Tomorrow I’ll put up some of the work I wrote in the notebook, and I’ll be sure to continue my writing practice as before. Because I know that doing that helped me to break through the sea of blank space in my notebook, regardless of whether. It made it here or not.
I must blog earlier on Wednesdays or I’ll always miss my target.
So, here I am again. Sacrificially offering up my thoughts to the ether.
Today we stripped another poem down to its essence. I watched as my students tore into its flesh, and got stronger. I am not a cleric, but what we do feels- to me- spiritual.
I don’t know. Maybe I’m being melodramatic, but the insights and the looks on their faces as they see each poem anew is a blessing to me, and I hope to them as well.
Some days are better than others. Today, sick and the Achilles’ tendon is back at it again. Between that, the ankle, and being ill, today has been, let’s say, less than ideal.
On the plus side, I did get to spend some time with my daughter and I got to read, when I wasn’t resting.
Doctor’s appointment tomorrow at 9.15 pm. Dentist appointment Wednesday. Looks like another busy week ahead.
What else is there to say? More mad scientist ideas, more planning towards the business, more things to do in my head than I can actually find the time to do them in.
C’est la vie.